Why Go?

"We must look for ways to be an active force in our own lives. We must take charge of our own destinies, design a life of substance and truly begin to live our dreams." - Lester Louis Brown-

I have had many dreams through the years. Most involved setting up some business of sorts. The earliest in my dream book was turning an old colonial bungalow into a classic book store cafe. The kitchen would be the cafe, serving home-made snacks. There would be lots of comfy sofas and chairs spread about around the house while the walls would be lined with solid oak book shelves from floor to ceiling. There would be lovely music playing while patrons could just sit, relax and read.
I dreamed up this house when I was 14.

Once I turned 17, I was convinced I was going to change the world and decided that I was never going to lead an ordinary life. I wanted to join a missionary organization right after school and volunteer for 3 months in India. I had read City of Joy (by Dominique La Pierre) when I was 15 and the true account stories of the slums of Calcutta ripped at my soul. But I fell ill with a blood disease and my mom threw a fit saying it was over her dead body before I ended up half way around the world, living in a third world country.

Then I turned 19 and decided that I wanted to backpack around Europe for a year. Apart from wanderlust being the motivating factor, the love of my life then happened to be a much older man who was doing his Masters degree in Amsterdam. This time, both mom AND dad threw a fit and hurriedly enrolled me in a local college.

Thus began the ordinary life I swore that I would never lead. Slowly, I tried to move myself out of the routine of daily life and the expectations that were put on me. My life long ambition was never to get married by 25 and pop out babies till I was 30 or more. I needed so badly to see what was out there, outside this world that I knew, to live a different kind of life from what I was living. But I just didn't know how to go about it or to actually define what it was that I was yearning for.

I was restless.

In the span of 10 years from when I turned 25 to now, I ended three wedding engagements, much to the chagrin of my mom, moved from the little town of Ipoh to KL and almost moved to Toronto and Singapore to work. It didn't happen because honestly, I could never see myself making my home in either Canada or Singapore. Both were extremely cold countries in different ways and neither tugged at my heartstrings.

But Australia did just that. Sometimes, you just know these things. Like when you are looking for a house to buy or rent, in the stillness of all the emptiness, you can get the vibe of the place. Instinctively you know if you gel with it.

In my heart I knew. Australia was where I had to go, it was where I had to be. It would be a dream come true.

Finally.